I woke up yesterday morning to a feeling of dread and slight depression.
I thought I had forgotten to take a photo for my Project 365.
I shuffled out to the kitchen for coffee and shared with my husband my sadness at breaking my photo streak. He was sympathetic and then realized that I had, in fact, taken a photo on Sunday. It was a no nothing picture of my son making a train out of the jelly packets at Perkins that I snapped with my camera phone.
What a relief. Streak remained unbroken. All the world is right again.
Fast forward to 3:52AM this morning. I’m awoken by my husband trying to shift over our little nighttime visitor (our son).
And the thought hits me.
I forgot to take a picture yesterday.
And from there I immediately cycled through the five stages of grief:
Denial– This was a quick stage. My DSLR is sitting right on my desk where it’s been for two days. Didn’t take any camera phone pictures yesterday, and I’m not even sure where my point and shoot is. Yep, there’s no denying it.
Anger– So, so angry at myself. How had I managed to do this TWO days in a row? I’d done so well with this project compared to last year where I forgot a day before the January. And there were so many moments I had thought about taking a photo yesterday: when I saw myself covered in paint and considering a self portrait; when my son and husband went to play in the yard; when I saw my camera sitting on my desk while I was blogging yesterday morning!
I was also angry at whomever said doing something for 30 days forms it into a habit since I blew it after 100 days.
Yes, I made it exactly 100 days before I screwed up. What a perfect number to screw up after.
Depression– Also known as a feeling of failure.
Bargaining– I considered using the photo mosaic I blogged about yesterday as my photo since I created that yesterday. (lame idea) Also considered changing the date on my camera and taking a picture this morning, then changing it back to today’s date.
Really? I was entertaining date-stamp cheating? Kind of extreme for a project that, realistically, no one would notice I missed a day but me.
Acceptance– Yes, I slipped up. I’m deep into home renovations again, which is exactly when and how I got off track with last year’s attempt at a Project 365. But I am determined to see this through and have realized that I just need to take other steps to ensure I don’t forget again, like a reminder on my nightstand.
And if I make it 364/365, that’s still a 99.72% completion rate.
Pretty close to perfection for a mere mortal, right?